“I realized that so much of memory is rehearsal. You get so much of it from friends, family, just going over things with us. I had siblings yet and I didn’t have friends from when I was little girl. So much of it is just lost.”
It is true enough that it is easy to get bogged down with unhappy memories. In the times we have messed up, or the times we have failed at something, and the list can just go on and on. And amidst the discouraging thoughts, it becomes easier not to follow up with a cold email, or not to attempt a new project. Yet this is what I believe that we rehearse a lot of memories — so why not make a conscious effort to guide memory development?
I was watching an interview on Happiness; I toyed with the idea of rehearsing memories myself. Shortly after, I started bookmarking encouraging chats, or just writing down really happy or exciting moments. Some include the day I started a new job, good times with friends, chilling time with someone I really admired, going on a really funny date, watching my favourite hero movies. I also keep screenshots of amusing images, and quotes or passages of text that I have found particularly practical or meaningful. It had really made small changes which I proudly call it as my “happiness folder”
I believe everyone has to treat you mentally. Do a list of Happiness. The list can contain anything that helps you rehearse the memories that you need to become happier in the long-term. This ranges for everyone that could include:
- A folder of happiness that include memories that make you more confident prior to a nerve-racking meeting. (e.g., Journal entries or photos of your “trophies” or “past stories” — just like your first sale closed memories of childhood friends/good friends
- Or a folder that reminds you when you were a kid/teenager – things that you use to do and now you have forgotten. Why don’t recall them and continue doing? Possible!
- Or a folder about your admirer/person that you wanted to be with, yeah it will give you a little heart ache but trust me it will of cause gives a million smiles!! That is a happiness within that you could get from anywhere! Yes I did J.
- Or a folder fun filled with “selfie” of you? Possible, why not?? Posting and sending your selfie images to friends/boyfriends/girlfriends has become a TREND and soon it will be a norm in everyone! Do it if it gives you the happiness!
These cues remind me of the times I felt on top and hopefully help me find a pattern between them, so I can understand myself better. But they’re also a sight for sore eyes on particularly gloomy days/months/moments which I gone through when I am about to attempt something out of my comfort zone.
A lot of us are our own worst critics; there is where the Happiness we had done before will serve as a way to balance that out a little bit.
In a worst-case scenario, we have a hotbed of creativity to draw from. Life won’t seem to pass by as fast, because we as human we are always glued in making more marks along the journey. But you may find your ability to cheer yourself up a lot more powerful with this resource, why not?
Admittedly, the Happiness Folder still sounds like a bit of an indulgence. It’s a warm, fuzzy, folder. Trust me; it is the caring friend close to you that will gives you a nudge in the right direction. Perhaps the natural progression is to start on a more stimulating experiment — a “Life Lessons Folder”, where I take my worst memories and re-frame them. It could be good practice.
Delude yourself all you want, we live in a world heavily influenced by other people. At least briefly consider what they think.
Get into your Happiness Folder people & Be happy!
